Being curious and kinky is not enough. Affinity is designed for FemDoms who practice D/s as part of their lifestyle, and male subs who at least aspire to do the same.
Our vetting process has been streamlined to ensure that our guest list is diverse, attractive, and very interesting. We accept no more than 20 guests.
All consideration takes place via FetLife. The first step is to RSVP “Interested” to our event listing.
We are open to applicants at all levels of experience, but require Mistresses who make the full FemDom commitment and bring unwavering dominant energy, and subs who work hard, submit completely, and understand there is no way out of service.
RSVP as “Interested” on FetLife and we will review your profile. If your persona, interests, and what you offer to the environment meshes well with other guests, we will contact you for a video interview.
While we appreciate referrals and a recommendation from someone we know may get you noticed, your profile will be assessed with the same scrutiny as those of a complete stranger. Having connections does not make you an automatic fit for Affinity. You may be better suited for our other events.
No. Invitations to Affinity are based on many factors, including skills, interests, needs, and how your style aligns with those of other guests. Our capacity is limited and we cannot include everyone, every time. We also reserve some spaces for newcomers. While we hope previous guests have fond memories and want to return, everyone must RSVP via FetLife, for each event.
All guests must apply for and attend Affinity as individuals. All subs serve all Mistresses. If you are part of a couple in a D/s dynamic and you both receive invitations, you must be willing to be separated quite a bit during this event, and interact with all other guests. If your dynamic is clearly stated on FetLife, we will make an effort to review both. If your partner is considered and you are not, it is likely due to an incomplete profile. If this is problematic for you, consider retreats designed for couples.
Affinity is a CFnm event for FemDoms and male subs - gender assigned at birth. Lair Derriere offers other FemDom events open to all genders.
All Affinity communication is conducted via private mail messages on FetLife. After you RSVP as “Interested” and we are considering you for an invitation, we will reach out in a FetLife message to set up an appointment for a video interview. (This is a 10-minute chat, not a D/s performance, scene, or session!) If something unexpected comes up and you must reschedule, communicate with us promptly. If you are a total no-show, we will not consider you further.
If we think you are a fit for Affinity, you will receive an invitation in a FetLife message. Follow the instructions and send your deposit promptly. If we do not receive your deposit within the specified timeframe, your spot may be offered to another candidate.
Affinity demand outstrips supply by a LOT. Spaces are limited and we must be very selective. We receive hundreds of inquiries about Affinity. Many perfectly capable applicants are not invited. There are several reasons why, many of which are not personal or reflective of their specific qualifications. We may be torn between you and another applicant and have a difficult decision to make. You may have needs or skills that do not mesh with other invited guests.
Yes! We conduct interviews even after the upcoming Affinity’s guest list is full – as we build community, vet for our other events, and look forward to future editions of Affinity. After your interview, you may receive notice that you are on our waitlist and will receive an invitation if someone else cancels. If you are waitlisted and hope to attend, keep your calendar clear on our dates and have admission funds ready so you can commit quickly.
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